Change is everywhere. People talk about it all the time: it's big, it's scary, it's hard, it's an intangible giant ball of stress and fear of the future. Yet change is constant; I'd even say change is more common than consistency. Change isn't always big and scary either, sometimes it's as simple as trying out a new flavor of breakfast cereal or wearing a red tie instead of blue. Change is always around us, affecting us, and sometimes we are in control of change and sometimes we are just along for the ride. But the most important change by far is the kind of change we create within ourselves: to become a better person, a healthier person, a person who likes skydiving, or a person who stops smoking. We already have a grasp on this with all of our self-help books and the huge cultural push to make (and keep for at least a month) New Year's Resolutions every January 1. When February comes around (or if you're slightly more dedicated, March), those changes we try to make within ourselves drop off, suddenly unimportant and masked by claims such as "It just didn't work with my work schedule," or "It's too cold outside anyway." Why are we inspired by change but seem to be unable to follow through?
Embracing change is often the key to defeating fear, anxiety, and stress about the future.
Big, Hairy, Audacious
During my last semester of undergrad, I took possibly the best course of my entire college career. The course was titled Strategic Business Leadership, but as we got deeper into the material I realized that the "strategy" was developing our personal leadership skills and learning more about what makes each of us excel as individuals, and less about business strategy. The class was eye-opening, challenging, and it changed my entire view on my future. One of the first readings we were asked to do was a chapter of Built to Last by Jim Collins and Jerry Porras. In this chapter, they describe Big, Hairy, Audacious goals (BHAGs for short), and our capstone assignment was to create a BHAG for ourselves and present it to the class. BHAGs in nature are big goals, as the name implies, but goals so big they are almost ludicrous. Grand, so-crazy-it-might-just-work type of goals, the kind movie characters make when they learn they only have a few more weeks to live. Now as a college class, there was only so much we could do in a short period of time (less than 4 months), but we took on the challenge and several people made life-altering changes by the time the class was over (and on top of their other classes, homework, extracurricular activities, part-time jobs, and post-graduation job hunting). I highly recommend reading Collins' Built to Last for yourself; at the very least, just the chapter that describes these goals.
Indecision
I had no idea what to do for my BHAG. I spent way too long trying to come up with ideas. Other people committed to quit smoking, lose weight, or spend x amount of time at the gym. A few people had really fun ideas, like cooking their way through a cookbook (Julie & Julia, anyone?), knocking items off their student "bucket list" before they graduated, and another dedicated the semester to learning their family business so they could take over after graduation. Several people tasked themselves with landing post-grad jobs in their field. None of those felt right for me, though. I've spent my whole life feeling like I don't fit into a box, and committing to a stuffy office job right out of college didn't seem like the right thing for me. So I started writing down all the things I wanted to do: professionally, creatively, recreationally, etc. I made a massive bucket list with roles I want to play, jobs I want to experience (but not tie myself down to forever), and places I want to see. I also wrote down general ideas about who I wanted to be; my goal weight, my top 10 personal qualities, the general aesthetic I'd like to achieve before I turn 35, etc. Once I had this massive list, I realized that most of them were not achievable in one semester, especially since I'd wasted like 2 weeks at this point just trying to come up with an idea. But then it clicked: why don't I just create a 5-year plan? My professor understood my predicament and approved my idea, so I hunkered down and began the enormous task of planning out intricate details of the next 5 years of my life.
My Plans
I began reading lots of articles about how to create a 5-year plan. A lot of them seemed career-focused, but I wasn't only concerned with my career path, I wanted to cover everything I could conceivably shove into my (hopefully) normal lifespan...or at least, the next 5 years of it. Luckily, I am a list person, a 300-sticky-note person, and a colored pen person. I took out a piece of paper and started a list. After staring at it for 2 days, I realized that many of them were similar enough to form categories. so I took out colored pens and circled the items I thought went together well. I named these categories and then split them up into new lists under their new titles. I was getting somewhere!
My categories were: Creativity (purple), Mental Health (blue), Professional (orange), Brand (red), Physical Health (black), Passion (pink), Legacy (yellow), and Finances (green). Some of the categories were similar; Creativity and Passion looked almost the same on paper, but Creativity is dedicated to creative outlets while Passion is dedicated to things that feed those creative outlets. For example, my dream roles are listed in Creativity, but shows/plays/musicals I want to see are listed under Passion. The Professional category has goals that are creative in nature (i.e., publishing a book, writing a TV series, working for a childrens' theatre) but which are directly related to career/making money. Brand covers things that are personal goals, but which can be seen by other people; things like having a YouTube channel, learning how to use makeup without looking like a 4 year old, and breaking bad habits. Many of the things in this category are things that I had to change in myself but would affect other people as well. And Legacy covers qualities I think are important or that I think I need to work on, such as patience, kindness, and self-discipline. Legacy also covers values, mission, and a space to record ideas for Random Acts of Kindness. After my first year swimming through this BHAG, I did change a few categories: Physical Health and Mental Health combined into just Health, and I added categories for Family and Travel.
These categories were the bare bones frame of my project, and my next step was creating a timeline for the upcoming 5 years, and figure out how each thing would fit best into that timeline. I'll go into that more in my next article.
What About You?
If any of this is resonating with you (and doesn't completely overwhelm you), I would encourage you to use my structure to set up your plan for change and personal growth. Below is a step-by-step (loose) guide to start your own 5-year plan.
Personal growth is one of the only avenues of change we can control. You decide what goes into your body, what entertainment you consume, what sorts of people you hang out with, and how you react to stressful situations. If you aren't sure what you want to change, look at your New Years Resolutions for clues, or your resolutions from past years that maybe didn't stick. Chances are, those are still areas you can progress. Drop a comment with your New Year's Resolutions and if you're still on track!
Step-by-Step Guide
1. Read Built to Last by Jim Collins (or at least the chapter about BHAGs)
2. Spend some time reflecting on yourself. What are your faults? What are your "toxic traits"? As hard as it is to admit, we all have them.
3. Start a list!
(if you get stuck, start with your New Years Resolutions, general goals such as "lose weight" or "stop smoking", or consider your current habits. What new things do you want to try? What do you want to be known for? If you get really stuck, you can always Google ideas.)
4. Pick out some colored pens and circle similar items. For example, "sky diving" and "hiking" are similar enough to be put together.
5. Name your categories! This part can be as creative as you want. I went with more straightforward titles, since this was for a class project, but after graduation I started tweaking things around a bit. It's your plan, so write down what works for you!
6. Check back for part 2!